On Mothering – Part 6

4.     How does “too much mothering” impact a child?

The above list in Part 5 gives us a glimpse of the effects on the mother when bonding may be getting too tight and an entanglement is developing.

For the child, our over-functioning on their behalf can create a wide variety of responses from them including:

-           A belief that they are not capable of doing things on their own.

-          A belief that who they are as a person is not okay.

-          A dependency on the mother that keeps them from growing into a healthy, individuated person capable of school, work, and independent living.

-          Angry conflicts that results in the child distancing them self.

-          Worry and guilt as the child separates despite messages that they should not.

-          Not getting to learn from the natural consequences of their actions.