Recently I was speaking with someone about the importance of reminding our self of why we set a boundary, why we took a stand, why we made a particular decision - especially when we have carefully centered and thoughtfully made those decisions.

We loose track of the good work we are doing on our own behalf as our focus is drawn outside of our self. Remembering, reminding our self can anchor us when we are feeling pulled off our own moorings.

And then I thought about the word: re-mind and added the hyphenation to emphasize the work we are doing. We are re-minding our self. We are intentionally catching our thoughts which may be forgetting our own needs and feelings. We are re-setting self by re-minding self. We are anchoring back in self.

What helps you to re-mind your self?

May Roses

In case you have found your way to this Blog, please know that the "Self-Recovery" workshop I am offering on Saturday, May 21, 2022, 9am - 12:30pm is happening! Here are the details:

If you are interested in participating, you are still welcome to contact me through this website as late as Friday, May 20, 2022 to attend this online event on Saturday.

Ready participants are already enrolled. You are invited to join us and spend a Saturday morning learning ways to connect with and foster your self. A refreshing opportunity.

Downtown Books in Lexington, VA - my home base - hosted me for a book talk on the 2nd Edition of Disentangle. In part we offered this event to promote this new 2020 edition. To a larger extent we offered the event in recognition of May as Mental Health Awareness month.

Loss of self in others can be a fundamental reason for the anxiety and depression we treat in our counseling practices. And certainly relationship problems emerge from this loss of self. Often such loss of self presents as over-functioning for others and under-functioning for self. The balance between self and other is off, and we may not even be consciously aware of it.

Since you were not able to attend this talk, I am posting part of the handout I offered that describes paths to internal connections which can improve this self-other balance. The 4 Areas of Work that are the core content of Disentangle are named and illustrated below. These areas of work offer numerous insights and strategies for Self-Recovery:

4 Areas of Work to Foster Internal Connections

With a Take-Away Suggestion for Each Area

Facing Illusions – Reading: pp. 75-76

    Be Realistic with Self

        – Reading: pp. 78, 80

Detaching – Reading: pp. 134-135

    Increase Calm Responsiveness

        – Reading: pp. 136-137

Setting Health Boundaries – Reading: pp. 154; 155-156

    Find your “I” statement

        – Reading: pp. 167-168

Developing Spirituality – Reading: pp. 195-196

    Be aware of what You Can and Cannot Control

        – Reading: pp. 217-218; 219