I am writing on a second book, as you likely know. It, too, is about codependence with new views and thoughts about it gleaned from the past 20 years of my personal and professional work. I have had the book in mind for a number of years, and it is quite wonderful to be so fully into this project now.

As part of that this work, I have been looking at both self-help resources as well as academic writings on this topic. Most are supportive and knowledgeable about codependence and the importance of our understanding it better and knowing how to help those who want help with it.

And as I am doing this work, I realized that I would like to invite you to send me your comments through this blog about your understanding of, feelings about, experiences with codependence. I like to think of codependence as loss of self in someone else. Please let me know how you think of it, how you experience it.

My preferred mode is conversation not lecture or monologue. Sometimes I have trouble with blogging, because it is not as conversational as I like. I am a therapist. I work through conversations. When I teach in workshops, I talk and then encourage discussion and sharing. I believe this is a great way to move into greater understanding and growth.

I hope to hear from you.
Book Exposition of America, 2011

Lucky Me

I’m back again to blogging. I have been away with many things both personal and professional. My tweets have attempted to keep you updated on some of what’s been going on for me, but its time to really jot you more than a line.

Today I pick telling you a bit more about being at the Book Exposition of America (BEA) in New York City, NY, USA. You have probably already seen some of the photos from this incredible book event at http://www.facebook.com/Disentangle. When I was invited to come to BEA by my press, Central Recovery Press, I had no idea what to expect. Here’s some of what I found:

Without really knowing what business was being conducted at BEA, I have been informally describing it as the stock exchange of book publishers, distributors, and sellers. The Javits Center in NYC where the Expo was held is enormous. Hundreds of book publishers were there, some with exhibits that qualified as small book stores. Nearly everywhere were people gathered in small groups actively exchanging information and doing their book jobs – networking, promoting, educating, and selling.

Many of us authors were invited by our publishers to come to autograph copies of our books and give them away. This was happening all over the Expo. A catalog listed all the autographing opportunities – hundreds of them – and I was lucky enough to not only get some free, autographed books but to also be an author signing and giving away my book.

It was a wonderful experience to meet the people who came to get signed copies of Disentangle. They represented what seemed to me to be very varied professional backgrounds, including librarians, therapists, other authors, radio interviewers, and who knows what else.

What I also noticed about these people was that regardless of the professional work that brought them to my booth, most of them seemed to have intentionally selected getting a copy of Disentangle because of the title/topic itself. How encouraging to hear people say: “I need to read this right away.” “No, this book is not for my job. It’s for me.” “This is the perfect time for this book to come out.” “What do you mean you are out of books? I came to your booth especially to get this book. Will you send me one?”

Now I am not really into self-promotion, so telling you all of this makes me a bit self-conscious. But as I write, I realize that what I am also really saying to me and to you is that this is an important topic for us to talk about and work with. We are not alone in our tangles and desires to have more serenity. Strangers-to-me are wanting to openly join in these conversations and work that helps us to not lose our self.

In Disentangle I have an essay entitled Don’t Go This Alone. I am pleased to say that many of us are not alone in our work. We are meeting and reading and conversing and understanding new things together at local, regional, and, now I can say, national levels.

A true cause for gratitude and celebration!