On Mothering – Part 5

3.     What are some warning signs that the bonding has become entanglement?

Entanglements have to be identified by the individual(s) within a relationship. Each relationship has its own levels of separateness and closeness that can work for the individuals in that relationship. With that said, we may be becoming entangled with our child if we:

-          Are very preoccupied with them.

-          Are constantly dropping things we need to do, places to be, opportunities of our own to help or manage them.

-          Protecting them from the natural consequences of their actions.

-          Driving them away by our controllingness.

-          Are feeling extra depressed or anxious because of our relationship with them.

-          Feel over-powered by the relationship.

-          Feel afraid in the relationship.

-          Are unable to listen to and respond to our self in the relationship.

-          Have no time for self.

-          Think about them all the time and wonder/worry what they are doing.

-          Have no idea what to do when our child is not available to us.