Self-Recovery: A Brief and Solid Look

Thanks for finding my website. And thanks for digging even deeper to find this blog.

It's time to say a bit about where my work with codependence and Disentangle has gone over this past year - a brief and solid look.

In August, 2020 the 2nd Edition of Disentangle: When You've Lost Your Self in Someone Else was released pandemic style with radio interviews and online articles. Just prior to that release, I was fortunate to record a digital seminar for PESI: Codependence: Treatment Strategies for Clients Who Lose Themselves in Others.

These opportunities, along with participation in a number of virtual trainings, invited me to think even more comprehensively about the treatment of codependence. Clear and fundamental ways to describe codependence and its treatment emerged.

Simply put, I believe codependence can be defined as loss of self in someone else. This loss of self can lead to over-functioning for others/under-functioning for self. This intra/inter-personal style comes from a predominant tendency to focus externally. No blame or judgement. There are a number of reasons for our external focus. It has been adaptive and even protective for us. And we may find that we lost our self along the way as our internal focus dimmed and dimmed.

Then one day a client was telling me a story about losing her temper and saying regrettable things to the other person. She was feeling bad about what she said and her failed attempts to express her self in a way to be heard. In responding to her, I reflectively suggested, "You were not able to recover your self in that moment." We both liked that way of putting it. And I knew then that the integrated model of codependence recovery I was distilling is Self-Recovery.

This diagram/logo of the Self-Recovery Model incorporates the 4 integrated elements I now highlight as the heart of healing codependence:

The 4 Elements of Self-Recovery
Self-Understanding
Self-Awareness
Self-Competence
Self-Attunement

This Self-Recovery Model involves cultivating our internal focus with compassion, mindful presence, confidence, and care as we engage in specific work in each of these 4 areas of Self.

I will be offering a 4-hour workshop on Saturday, February 19, 2022, 10am-3pm(EST) on Self-Recovery. If you are curious about it, check out the description of that workshop under the Events Tab on this website.

More on Self-Recovery as these blogs emerge.

Well Wishes!

Nancy