New Stuff

Blogging is new to me, and perhaps the material in Disentangle, When You’ve Lost Your Self in Someone Else, is new to you. So here we are all learning new things. And even if you are familiar with Disentangle, my hope is that my blog entries will help to remind you of ideas you have learned and/or help you to work with material in a deeper way.

As I was thinking about a blog entry the other day, it came to me that I want to highlight the definition I offer of disentangling as I start the book. Quoting from the very first page, I say:

Disentangle:  To find your self when you are lost in someone else.  To create enough emotional space between your self and another person so you are better able to see the realities of your situation and make healthier decisions about it.  To not necessarily leave/divorce/end a relationship but rather create enough space and establish a stronger self so you can then decide what to do about the relationship in which you are entangled.

Disentangle is about learning ways to create emotional distance between you and someone else so you can think, figure out what you want to say and/or do relative to that relationship, and then assert your self in a non-reactive way. This book is not necessarily about untangling and leaving. It is not about becoming selfish and abandoning others. It is simply about learning to attend to our self to at least the same degree to which we are attending to others. In the doing of this, we are surely en route to a stronger and better-defined self.

Imagine that!