Codependence Camp - October, 2015 Virginia Counselors' Associations Annual Conterence - 2015 This fall has been rich in Opportunities for me, opportunities of various sorts. Our October Codependence Camp was full of wonderful opportunities to work together on our self-growth. Studying the work of Rick Hanson, we used material in Buddha's Brain to learn more about how to cultivate ...
The leaves are falling here in Virginia. The season is changing. Over the past week we have been blessed with gorgeous colors of reds, oranges, and yellows against blue skies and green fields. I have been busy with many wonderful opportunities over the past couple of months, and I am glad to have time to appreciate this natural beauty and to write out some thoughts here. Haiku continue ...
My time in Williamsburg at the Virginia Summer Institute for Addiction Studies was wonderful: excellent sessions in which I learned a great deal and inspiring colleagues and conversations. A special thank-you to all who attended my session and participated in the inauguration of Your Healthy Self, my new electronic board book available here at my website under Downloads. Whether ...
Woman Bathing Her Feet in a Brook Camille Pissarro 1984/1985 The Art Institute of Chicago The time has come for me to return to my blog and to return to the Virginia Summer Institute for Addiction Studies in Williamsburg this coming week - July 13-15, 2015 - http://www.vsias.org/. I am very fond of this conference. I have learned a great deal there and have been invited to present ...
Mama and me on a girls' trip to Williamsburg, VA * I see your wool coat reminding me of young you fresh and beautiful. * I opened a book. There was a card from Mama. For You. Love, Mama. * Her sentiments live. She speaks through her written words supporting me now. * I feel like crying. I live in beauty and good yet dark pulls at me. * ...
April 18, 2015 The polish expression “Not my circus, not my monkeys” has finally made it to the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia where I live and work. I have a client who has been telling me about their use of it in her home. This week another client brought me a copy of the expression off of the internet. The reason these clients are showing me this expression is because this is ...
Welcome to my new BlogSpot! Thank you, Grace (www.graceduval.com), for making this possible for me and all who visit. This photo was recently taken by me on my front porch here at our old clapboard home on the James River. It is time to plant, time to plant lots of new things, including thoughts and words. And that's what has happened for me since mid-February. I have fallen ...
Another Lesson from Daisy for which I am grateful: Sugar cookie dough and vanilla ice cream really do help the medicine to go down: Why force a solution when I can notice and follow a sweeter, easier, and effective path that is there all along if I will get out of my own way full of fears and control and allow life to flow. ...
On April 15, 2014 Daisy turned 18 years old. We were blessed with another full year with Daisy and a birthday celebration on the 15th with treats and a gold ribbon tied to her collar. Later that month I wrote an essay entitled "Another Year of Lessons." Here at this Thanksgiving time of the year - yes, I have not yet rushed to Christmas - I want to share a few of the lessons I included ...
Helping and fixing come so naturally to me. I readily extend my self to others. Nothing’s wrong with this until it goes too far. As I told you, I so want to fix Daisy’s aged body. I so want to remove every drop of pain and, quite honestly, create her youthfulness again. Daisy and I are both servers. She is a greeter, a protector, and a herder. I am a helper and fixer, even professionally. ...
In being loyal and committed, it is important for me to consider my self as well. This does not mean that I must always have my way or attend to my needs without consideration of others. It does mean that as I deeply attend to someone else, or for that matter, some cause or activity, that I also connect with me. Is what I am about to choose good for me? Will I feel okay about me and my ...
My dominant codependent behaviors include being devoted, helping/fixing, people-pleasing, over-reacting, and controlling. I prefer to think of codependency from a behavioral perspective, because this gives me the opportunity to become aware of my behaviors and to moderate them according to what is healthy for me and my relationships. If I simply think of my self as a codependent, then ...
As I begin to write about my recent lessons learned from my life with Daisy, I am first going back one year to share some writing I did last November about me and Daisy's declining health. These writings will freshen us all up on the ways I think about codependency/loss of self in someone else, and I will be offering them in small pieces in the spirit of the 19th century serialized novels: Give me the least bit of stress and my character defects start showing up. Even after 25 years ...
Daisy, the Border Collie heroine of My Life as a Border Collie, passed away on September 12, 2014. She was 18 and 1/2 years old. As you know from our book, Daisy taught me many lessons about life and love. During this last year of her life, I wrote a few essays about the lessons that continued to emerge after the publication of our book and as we traveled this ending-of-life path together. ...
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