And now to the questions posed: 1. We all know the importance of “bonding” with our children. How should a healthy mother-child relationship change over the years? To answer this, I will continue to use the circles I spoke of in On Mothering – Part 2 as a way of talking about this evolving relationship between mother and child. When the child is young, the circles of the child and of the parent are importantly very overlapping. We are protecting them, nourishing them, ...
As I said yesterday, I have been asked to elaborate on this together-and-separate dynamic as it applies to mothering and will be doing so by responding to questions on this topic starting tomorrow. First, I wish to offer this picture I use as I work with people and relationships: I like to work with circles. I think of each person as being a circle. Each person or circle represents that person’s self. Enmeshed relationships are where the two circles, representing two people, overlap ...
Being a mother is certainly one of the most wonderful experiences over our lifetime. And being a mother can be one of the most challenging experiences over our lifetime. I know this, because I am a mother. As many of us remark over the years of raising our children, no one really told us how to do this. With all the classes we have taken in school, parenting was not taught. Seldom are there classes where the knowledge and wisdom of mothering is shared in an organized and meaningful way. Often ...
Me with my Mother and my Daughter Spring Greetings! Spring brings us many gifts: green grass, warmer temperatures, singing birds, and blooming flowers. It just brought us Easter, and soon we will have Mother’s Day. As we have been marketing Disentangle, we have been looking at its many applications. One of those applications is to parenting, and even more specifically, the material ...
I love it when I am in the presence of people who are willing and wanting to look at themselves, and in this case, are trying to understand this disentangle material further and how it might relate to them. I love it when I am in the presence of people who already get this material, who are wise to their over-controllingness or tendencies to people-please, fix, or over-function in someone else’s life. I love it when someone says to me, “Oh, I bet the outcome of this work is happiness.” The ...
Okay, so yes, only an hour or so has gone by since I wrote the previous blog, and I have been blessed with more to say today. You see, I believe that my quieting my self and going to my internal places, which I just wrote about in the previous blog, moves me to more within me. To move to more is not my intention in quieting my self. It is just that as I quiet my self and connect with me, rich internal things can be accessed and/or may come forth. It is a beautiful Spring afternoon here with ...
Blogging remains a very new thing to me. I often don’t have time to blog. I am not sure what to blog about. I don’t know if anyone is reading my blogs. So today I have time to blog and am finding my way to what to say. I am moving my self away from all those external questions about what to say, how to say it, and how will people respond. I am using this time to quiet my self and listen to what my true self may have to say today, here and now. I am grateful to have time today for my self. ...
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